it’s been awhile ever since i last blog down my thoughts. seriously, life was never as smooth as what i once thought. sometimes, i start questioning myself what’s next despite scoring good results. no, i am not here to show off but i seriously thought of that before.
perhaps that’s life. we always have this inner desire to achieve more. we are never satisfied with what we have. honestly, i am getting more sick and tired of all these. i know, somehow and somewhat, i am going to fail the expectations of many people. its just the matter of time. i’ve never believe that one can stay at his peak forever without tasting how it is to fail.
just as i was thinking through all these, God just suddenly reminded me ’ the first shall be the last and the last shall be the first’
sometimes, i really do hope to be able to hide behind the shadow of others. i just want to be someone ordinary, someone who do not need to meet the high expectation of man. i just want to be a child of God doing His work. i will then be more than satisfied.
i asked God, why me? since young, i never like to be in the lime light. but i surrendered and told God that since i am given the privilege, i will just move on. i want to constantly remind myself that i live to please God and not man. i am going to let God to be the center of why i am studying. i want to let God lead me.
at the end of the day, You are God and i am not.
God, help me be that city on the hill that is gonna shine. but, my God is living in me. and with that, i am really more than satisfied.
